The Week's Other Stories

Other news that got my attention in a busy week of football were...
Chelsea striving for stability, Joey Barton playing the hero, Ronaldo gets in the wars, Owen can't say no and Dida disgraces himself

Two valuable wins for Chelsea this week loosened the noose around Avram Grant’s neck, although the player’s and fans are yet to convince of their support for their new manager. The ever-smiling Israeli has promised to bring an added flair to Chelsea’s play under his stewardship (or should that be Mr Abramovich’s) and Ajax boss Henk ten Cate may soon join him at Stamford Bridge to work alongside as assistant. ‘We want to finish one way and want to play a new way of football that will be very good for the club.’ said Grant, in a clear statement that a new era was about to begin at Chelsea. Didier Drogba, who reportedly broke down in tears upon the news of Mourinho’s departure has committed himself until at least the end of the season, but at present key members of the team remain unhappy, notably the aforementioned Drogba, Lampard, and Shevchenko still. You’d have thought Andriy Shevchenko would be a man reborn, after almost single-handedly being the catalyst for the change of managers. However, he may have already caused irreparable friction with Grant. After reacting angrily to being an unused sub against Valencia, Grant responded by again leaving him out against Bolton at the weekend even though Drogba was suspended - when he did come on he played the last 15 minutes at left wing. There are whispers though that this may have been a public ploy by Grant to prove to Chelsea fans he is more than just a ‘yes’ man but Sheva should still be worried, as his reputation will not last forever.

Joey Barton, the swaggering cigar-clad thug who left Man City at exactly the wrong time has had the temerity to attempt to claim the credit for the club’s recent revival. Barton joined Newcastle Utd in the summer after helping City escape a relegation battle last season. He is yet to feature this season after breaking a metatarsal bone in pre-season although is now nearing match fitness. Never one to shy away from controversy or say exactly what he’s thinking, Barton blurted out, ‘Were it not for myself, Micah Richards and Richard Dunne the club wouldn’t have had Shiniwatra, the Premier League and Sven.’ It is unlikely Barton left many friends at the City of Manchester stadium, or if he did, he lost them with his follow-up remark, ‘I think Newcastle can be as big as they want to be. No disrespect to City but in Manchester, United will always be top dog.’ He can be rest-assured that he won’t be getting any appreciative applause for his relegation-saving efforts after comments like this, although he might bump into old foes Richards and Dunne in the future, bump quite hard in fact.

Poor Cristiano Ronaldo bumped his head this week while playing against Roma, causing a small bump on his eye. Aah. He says not to worry to his fans though, ‘It’s not a problem. In four or five days I will be beautiful once again.’ Well done Cristiano for being a brave little soldier, as he admitted, ‘I don’t like to look like this but his kind of thing can happen in football.’ On a serious note, Ronaldo was talking at the launch of his first autobiography, entitled Moments and he paid tribute to Alex Ferguson for his attempts to protect the tricksy winger from the types of tackle his skill entices. Ferguson called for referees to take note of persistent fouls after Ronaldo retaliated against Portsmouth and was sent-off at the start of the season, enduring a 3 match ban, an experience which made him, ‘suffer more than at any time in the last 3 years’. He didn’t enjoy his sex romp with 3 prostitutes and team mates Nani and Anderson then?

Michael Owen looks likely to play for England against Estonia and Russia even though he has just had hernia operations. The injury plagued forward is England’s only recognised source of goals and it is vital that he is able to play in the crucial qualifiers. Owen came off the bench at the weekend to score what proved to be the winner against Everton in a 3-2 win, only 8 days after a double hernia operation. The player himself wants to play as much as possible but there are risks of further complications and long term damage if he plays too much, too soon after injury, ‘In my opinion Michael wasn’t fit to start, but in his opinion he was’, said Sam Allardyce. The Newcastle boss does not want Owen to return injured but must reluctantly release him for international duty, while Steve McClaren is reliant on Owen as a proven goal scorer upfront for England. Owen’s determination to play is understandable as his career has been stop-start with injuries for the past 18 months, however there is a sense that he is being slightly naive, letting his heart rule his head, when he’d be better off protecting his long-term future, ‘No doubt the manager from here will say that and maybe the fans will say that but if I had to look after myself I wouldn’t have made myself available for today. The surgeon’s advice is what I’ll look at more than anything else and she said that I can push it as hard as I want.’ said Owen.

Following the tragi-comedy farce involving a Celtic hooligan and AC Milan goalkeeper Dida, UEFA have launched an official investigation. Immediately following the incident there were fears at Celtic that the club may be forced to forfeit their victory as the invasion was their responsibility, however sense prevailed and to their credit AC Milan upheld their, if not Dida’s, credibility, ‘It had nothing to do with the final result anyway.’, said Carlo Ancelotti. The club will have to be careful as any future discrepancy will result in them playing European fixtures behind closed doors. The problems started when a 27 year old fan appeared to tap the keeper on the face and then run off after he broke onto the pitch amidst the celebrations of Celtic’s last gasp winner. His actions were a total disgrace, unacceptable and he was rightly arrested and subsequently banned from Parkhead for life. However the incident gained much more notoriety for the way in which Dida responded to the situation. The Brazilian was obviously furious, having also just conceded a soft goal to seal his side’s defeat and chased several steps after the fan to get revenge. However, he then thought up a better way to get back, or even, with the fan – Eureka! He’d feign injury! And so he went down clutching his face and lying lifeless on the floor. It was a totally shameless display of play acting, reminiscent of his compatriot Rivaldo, who infamously writhed around as though he had been shot in the face when a player kicked the ball at his shins during the 2002 World Cup. Dida embarrassed himself, his team mates and his club, and was also the laughing stock of the 50,000 strong supporters. He surely deserves to be punished himself for his part in the pathetic affair, just what did he expect would happen if his injury were to be believed? That the referee might book the hooligan?